ROADS ROCKS WEEDS + SOIL

Some families save a seat for the person who did the harm, then rush the person who is still healing. And sometimes we put that pressure on ourselves.
In the second and final part of Faith After Fire: Love, Lust & Letting Go, I talk with licensed marriage and family therapist Adrianne Wagner about people who think you should be over it already. After learning my uncle hurt other family members, I wondered whether speaking sooner could have protected them. We talk about what to do with that guilt and why compassion belongs in the conversation.
We also answer a listener who asks about forgiving a mother who keeps belittling her. What does a boundary sound like when you still want to love someone?
Content note: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse and violent loss without graphic detail. Please take the space you need as you listen.
Scripture: Colossians 3:12. Word of the Week: COMPASSION. Listener challenge: Choose one boundary you can practice this week. Let a call go to voicemail until you're ready, or say, “I can talk when we can speak respectfully.”
Kingdom Artist: Jackie Hill Perry. Song of the Week: “Glory (The End)” from Blameless. The podcast edition does not contain the full songs; hear the complete ICU Radio 97.3 replay with Jackie Hill Perry's music at https://www.mixcloud.com/RRWSPODCAST/.
Subscribe to Roads, Rocks, Weeds & Soil. Follow @RRWSPodcast on Instagram and visit https://rrwspodcast.com.
Pray. Read. Listen. Obey. By God, for God. 🌱00:00 No Deadline on My Healing00:46 Welcome to Part 202:14 When Family Pushes You to Move On03:26 We Can Grieve the Same Loss Differently05:03 Self-Love Means Knowing What You Need06:16 The Guilt I Carried After Forgiving07:25 Forgiveness or Avoidance?08:11 Listener Question: When Mom Belittles You10:50 Protecting Your Peace with Family12:50 Compassion for Yourself, Too13:35 Talking to Myself Like I Believe It15:52 One Boundary to Practice This Week17:56 Closing: “Glory (The End)”

Some family can't ever come back to the cookout.
Natasha Elaine forgave her uncle for abusing her when she was a child. It took years to acknowledge the hurt and anger. Their relationship remains closed. So what does forgiveness actually change?
In Part 1 of this Faith After Fire: Love, Lust & Letting Go conversation, licensed marriage and family therapist Adrianne Wagner helps Natasha look at reconciliation, the feelings we rush past, and the ways we can call something “no big deal” when it was a big deal.
Natasha also shares why a recent Prince George's County police appeal in an unrelated cold case moved her to make a historical report about her own abuse. The cases are separate.
Content note: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse without graphic detail.Chapters:00:00 Some family can’t come back to the cookout00:29 Introduction and content note01:52 The path to forgiveness02:46 Forgiveness and reconciliation07:27 What anger tells us09:32 Naming the feelings we avoid10:01 My story: calling it “no big deal”13:02 Romans 12:18, making the call, and prayer15:19 Tell someone safe; why speaking up matters17:34 Song of the Week and closing
Scripture: Romans 12:18 (NIV): “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Word of the Week: ACKNOWLEDGE. Name what happened and what you feel. Give yourself room to tell the truth before asking yourself to move on.
Listener challenge: Tell someone safe sooner than Natasha did. You can start with: “Something happened to me, and I need to talk.” If it has already taken years, what happened was never your fault.
Kingdom Artist: Jackie Hill Perry. Song of the Week: “Keep Your Head Up,” featuring Scootie Wop.
Hear the complete ICU Radio 97.3 replay with Jackie Hill Perry's music at https://www.mixcloud.com/RRWSPODCAST/. The music-free podcast edition contains the conversation, reflection, prayer, and challenge.
For background on the separate cold case mentioned in this episode, read the Prince George's County Police announcement.
Subscribe to Roads, Rocks, Weeds & Soil. Follow @RRWSPodcast on Instagram and visit https://rrwspodcast.com.
Pray. Read. Listen. Obey. By God, for God. 🌱

“Once a boundary is crossed, we need more than a reaction. We need direction.”
What happens when somebody keeps crossing our boundary?
And what happens when that somebody is us?
In the final part of the Faith After Fire conversation with That Therapist Jawn, licensed clinical social worker Psalm McDaniels, Natasha Elaine turns the mirror around.
Natasha shares a personal example of crossing someone else’s boundary and examines what taking responsibility looks like without tearing herself apart.
Psalm explains when to clarify a boundary, when to allow time for change, and when the amount of harm may indicate that it is time to walk away.
Together, they discuss accountability, kinder self-talk, rebuilding self-trust, listening to the body, and determining whether the next step is repair, distance, or release.
INSIDE THIS EPISODE
🌱 What to consider after a boundary has been crossed
🌱 How to take accountability without turning it into self-condemnation
🌱 When to allow time for change and when it may be time to walk away
🌱 How the body, the Holy Spirit, and wise counsel can help guide our decisions
🌱 Why the years we invested do not own the years ahead
🌱 What it means to rebuild self-trust
REFLECTION QUESTION
What boundary do I need to set, respect, or repair?
As you write, notice what happens in your body. Then take your answer to God and ask whether your next step is accountability, an apology, a conversation, distance, or release.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Self-trust.
Self-trust means believing that as we pray, read, listen, and obey, we can recognize what God is showing us and respond without abandoning ourselves.
Trust God first.
Then trust the person He is teaching you to become.
RESOURCES AND LINKS
Find the Faith After Fire Journal at rrwspodcast.com under Resources and Digital Products.
Hear the complete ICU Radio 97.3 replay, music and all, on Mixcloud by searching RRWS Podcast or visiting mixcloud.com/rrwspodcast
The full, unedited conversation with Psalm is available on YouTube. She is also featured in the Still Holy, Still Healing series.
Connect with Psalm on Instagram at @ThatTherapistJawn.
KINGDOM ARTIST + SONG OF THE WEEK
Our Kingdom Artist throughout this three-part conversation is Detroit Christian hip-hop artist and HLY GRL founder Porsha Love.
The Song of the Week is “INI MINI” by Porsha Love.
If this episode spoke to you, subscribe to Roads, Rocks, Weeds + Soil and share it with someone learning that they can own the harm, make a wiser choice, and still trust the person God is helping them become.
Pray. Read. Listen. Obey.
God loves you way more! ❤️

“A boundary does not force another person to agree with me, understand me, forgive me, or change anything at all. It identifies what I will and will not continue participating in.”
Ten years ago, Natasha Elaine ended a 20-year friendship after one hurt too many. The truth? She had never communicated what needed to change after the first few hurts. By the time the last one landed, she was no longer looking to establish a boundary.
Baby... it was time for a wall.
In Part 2 of the Faith After Fire series, Natasha continues her conversation with That Therapist Jawn, licensed clinical social worker Psalm McDaniels, about the difference between establishing a healthy boundary and building a brick wall.
Together, they examine the fear of losing people, the pressure many Black women feel to remain accommodating, the superhero complex, and why feeling guilty does not necessarily mean we have done something wrong.
Inside This Episode
Why saying no can feel threatening when everyone expects you to say yes
How self-talk can help us move through guilt and communicate boundaries
How therapy helps us recognize patterns, notice our bodies, and rebuild trust in ourselves
The difference between a healthy limit and an impenetrable wall
How to use I-statements and communicate with clarity, kindness, and confidence
Why another person’s anger does not have to determine our response
What it means to practice relational sovereignty
Scriptural Anchors
Psalm 141:3 NIV: “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Proverbs 15:1 NIV: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Reflection Question
Where have I built a wall because I did not know how to communicate a boundary?
Take your answer to God and ask whether that wall needs a door, an additional lock, or permission to remain exactly where it is.
Word of the Week
Sovereignty: The authority to govern.
Relational sovereignty is the ability to remain connected in love while governing your own heart, choices, words, and responses.
We cannot let their lightning trigger our thunder.
Resources and Links
Find the Faith After Fire Journal at rrwspodcast.com.
Hear the complete radio replay, music and all, on Mixcloud by searching RRWS Podcast.
Watch the complete, unedited conversation with Psalm on YouTube, and connect with her on Instagram at @ThatTherapistJawn.
Song of the Week
“Rap Like a Girl” by Porsha Love, featuring LaNell Grant, TuKool Tiff, and Tylynn.
If this episode spoke to you, subscribe to Roads, Rocks, Weeds + Soil and share it with somebody who either says yes until they snap or builds a wall before building a bridge.
They may simply need better tools.
Until next time: Pray. Read. Listen. Obey.
God loves you way more! ❤️
PODBEAN CHAPTER MARKERS & TIMESTAMPS00:00 – Reflection: From 10-Year Brick Walls to Setting Real Boundaries00:43 – Welcome to Rose Rocks, Weeds & Soil (ICU Radio 97.3)01:43 – The Rocks: Fear of Losing People & The Superhero Complex in Women03:20 – The Weeds: Toxic Beliefs, Guilt, & Unhealthy Sacrifices04:05 – How Therapy Helps Us Recognize Patterns & Trust Our Intuition06:27 – Overlooking Red Flags: What Unchecked Harm Does to Self-Worth08:46 – Brick Walls vs. Healthy Limits: The Space Between Disconnection & Connection11:00 – Practical Tools: I-Statements, Delivery, & Scriptural Wisdom (Psalm 141:3)13:55 – Natasha’s Reflection: Moving from Retaliation to Relational Growth16:30 – Prayer over Boundaries, Self-Control, & Wise Discernment17:50 – Word of the Week: Relational Sovereignty18:30 – Featured Artist Spotlight: Portia Love & "Rap Like a Girl" / Closing Remarks

Gaslighting does not always take away your ability to choose. Sometimes it teaches you to distrust the very perception you need to make one.
In Part 1 of this three-part conversation, licensed clinical social worker Psalm McDaniels, @ThatTherapistJawn, goes beyond identifying love bombing, gaslighting, and narcissistic patterns. She explains why those patterns are so hard to leave, how guilt can make healthy boundaries feel wrong, and why the way out begins with trusting that you know what you are experiencing.
That truth sent me back to my own story, and I am sharing a part of it I have never told this directly.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why love bombing can overpower what the evidence is telling usHow gaslighting weakens our trust in our own perceptionThe difference between feeling guilty and actually being guiltyWhether narcissistic behavior can have a spiritual dimensionWhy you do not have to identify the root before responding to rotten fruitHow obedience, discernment, boundaries, and personal agency work togetherWhat taking refuge actually looked like in my own relationship
WORD OF THE WEEKAgency: the capacity to make choices and act on them.
FAITH AFTER FIRE JOURNAL PROMPTFinish this sentence: I knew __________, but I convinced myself __________. Take your answer to God and ask for the courage to respond to what He reveals. The Faith After Fire Journal is available at rrwspodcast.com under Resources and Digital Products.
SCRIPTUREProverbs 27:12, NIV: "The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty."
KINGDOM ARTIST + SONG OF THE WEEKOur Kingdom Artist is Porsha Love, whose music carries a faith that is bold, feminine, fun, and fully alive. Our Song of the Week is "70 Degrees" by Miles Minnick, George.Rose, and Porsha Love.
Roads, Rocks, Weeds + Soil airs live on ICU Radio 97.3 and streams everywhere podcasts are found.
Listen to the complete radio replay, music and all, on Mixcloud (search RRWS Podcast). Watch the complete, unedited conversation with Psalm on YouTube.

We spent two episodes talking about red flags, potential, patterns, and assignments. Now it’s time to talk about what healthy love actually looks like.
In Part 3 of my Faith After Fire conversation with Caniesha Marsh, founder and CEO of Divine Connections Philadelphia, we flip the conversation from red flags to green ones.
Consistency. Mature communication. Respect for boundaries. Peace. Trust. Spiritual alignment.
And while listening back, I realized something else: some of the qualities I wanted to see in somebody else were still growing in me.
Because discernment does not give us permission to investigate, control, cross boundaries, or turn into a “cold sniper” looking for proof. Sometimes wisdom is trusting what God has shown us without needing to know everything He knows.
Using Proverbs 24:3–4, we break down the difference between knowledge, understanding, and wisdom, and how each helps us build healthier relationships.
The question is not only, “Are they a green flag?”
Are you bringing green flags too?
WORD OF THE WEEK
TRUST
Take what you’re sensing to God without turning discernment into surveillance. Receive the nudge. Honor the boundary. Trust God with what comes next.
SCRIPTURE
Proverbs 24:3–4
KINGDOM ARTIST
Anike
RADIO TRACK LIST
Anike, WINNING
116 + Taylented feat. Childlike CiCi, Anike, Adia, Porsha Love, Queen Lee, Lee Vasi + Toyalove, Focused (Remix)
Anike + Porsha Love + HOLY GIRL X HLY GRL, HE'S GOOD (Everyday)
Anike, Watch Her Glow

You see the potential. You see who they could become. You can practically see the testimony already...
But did God actually assign you to help them get there? 👀
In Part 2 of Faith After Fire, Natasha Elaine revisits her conversation with Caneisha Marsh, founder and CEO of Divine Connections Philadelphia, about toxic cycles, romanticizing potential, spiritual compatibility, and the temptation to turn people into projects.
This time, Natasha hears the conversation differently.
Sometimes the weed isn’t the person you’re dating. Sometimes it’s your own proclivity to keep returning, fixing, teaching, rescuing, or imagining a future the other person isn’t actually choosing.
Because seeing someone’s potential does not make their transformation your assignment.
We’re talking about what it looks like to stop dating possibilities, stop volunteering for work God didn’t give you, and make room for relationships where both people arrive ready to pray, grow, build, and walk with Christ.
And yes... the holy oil is still a requirement. 😂
🌱 WORD OF THE WEEK: Proclivity🎤 KINGDOM ARTIST OF THE WEEK: Anike🎵 SONG OF THE WEEK: “The Real One” by Bri Babineaux ft. Anike
Faith After Fire Journal available at RRWSpodcast.com
Pray. Read. Listen. Obey.
#FaithAfterFire #ChristianDating #DatingPotential #Discernment #HealthyRelationships #RRWSPodcast

Sometimes the red flags were obvious.
Sometimes we ignored them.
And sometimes... we were the red flag. 😂
In Part 1 of Faith After Fire: Radio Revisited, Natasha Elaine revisits her original conversation with Caniesha Marsh, Founder + CEO of Divine Connections Philadelphia, with the wisdom that only time, healing, and new experiences can bring.
We're talking relationship red flags, discernment, accountability, and what it looks like to recognize what God may be showing you without romanticizing what you want something to become.
This isn't about rewriting the past. It's about being able to revisit it and say:
It is what it is... and now I know what I know.
🔥 Faith After Fire: Radio Revisited, Part 1
🎙️ Roads, Rocks, Weeds + Soil

Building strength is only part of the journey. Are you giving your body the nourishment it needs to support that strength?
In Part 3 of Guard Your Heart & Sharpen Your Iron, Natasha Elaine revisits her conversation with fitness professional David A. Miller about protein, nutritional support, consistency, and the difference between temporary motivation and lasting dedication.
David shares practical protein targets drawn from thirty years of working with clients. Natasha reflects on learning to nourish her body without fear, punishment, obsession, or condemnation, especially when life interrupts her rhythm.
This episode explores:
• Why strength training and nutrition belong in the same conversation• How protein supports the body you are working to strengthen• Why individual nutritional needs may differ• The difference between motivation and dedication• How to return wisely when your routine is interrupted• What our habits teach the people watching us• Caring for the body as an act of worship
The Word of the Week is DEDICATED, inspired by David’s reminder:
“Motivation is great, but motivation isn’t lasting. You have to find some dedication.”
This week’s listener challenge is simple: Before preparing or ordering a meal, ask, “Where’s my protein?” Then choose one personal commitment that will help you nourish the life and strength you are building.
The radio edition features Lecrae’s “Resurrected,” “Journey,” “Firm Foundation,” and the Song of the Week, “Legacy.”
Return. Continue. Rebuild. Model. Glorify.
This is the final installment of the three-part Radio Revisited series, Guard Your Heart & Sharpen Your Iron, featuring David A. Miller.
Part 1: Alcohol, Fitness, and Social PressurePart 2: Strength Training After 45Part 3: Protein, Nutrition, and Feeding the Strength You Are Building
Nutritional needs vary according to health, age, activity, medications, and other individual factors. Consult your physician or a registered dietitian for guidance designed specifically for you.
Subscribe to Roads, Rocks, Weeds & Soil and share this episode with someone learning to care for their body with wisdom, grace, and dedication.
Pray. Read. Listen. Obey.
https://rrwspodcast.com

What do you want your body to have the capacity to do ten years from now?
Carry groceries? Lift a grandchild? Walk through a new city? Get up from the floor? Climb stairs, travel, serve others, and continue answering God’s assignments with strength?
In Part 2 of Guard Your Heart & Sharpen Your Iron, Natasha Elaine revisits her candid conversation with fitness professional David A. Miller to explore strength training after 45.
David answers three important questions:
• Is it too late to get strong?• Why does strength training matter after 45?• How can a beginner start safely?
Together, they discuss cardio, resistance training, choosing an appropriate weight, repetitions, proper form, receiving qualified instruction, and fueling the body for the work we are asking it to perform.
Through the Roads, Rocks, Weeds & Soil lens, Natasha also addresses the beliefs that can keep us from beginning:
“I’m too old.”
“I waited too long.”
“Weights will make me bulky.”
“Cardio is all I need.”
“Asking for help will make me look inexperienced.”
The Word of the Week is CAPACITY, anchored by 1 Timothy 4:8. This week’s listener challenge invites you to identify what you want your body to do ten years from now, then schedule two beginner-appropriate strength-training sessions within the next fourteen days.
Kingdom Artist of the Week: LecraeSong of the Week: “Get Back Right,” Lecrae and Zaytoven
This is Part 2 of the three-part Radio Revisited series, Guard Your Heart & Sharpen Your Iron, featuring David A. Miller.
Part 1: Alcohol, Fitness & Social PressurePart 2: Strength Training After 45Part 3: Nutrition and Feeding the Strength You Are Building
Before beginning or changing an exercise program, consider your present health, experience, mobility, and physical capacity. Seek guidance from a qualified medical or fitness professional when appropriate.
Subscribe to Roads, Rocks, Weeds & Soil and share this episode with someone who has been wondering whether they waited too long to become stronger.
What do you want your body to have the capacity to do ten years from now?
Pray. Read. Listen. Obey.
Learn more: https://rrwspodcast.com